How to Write Your First Novel in Eight Weeks

If you’re like me, you have dozens—maybe hundreds—of novels you started squirreled away in various locations on your computer and around your house. But between work, work, more work, sporadic sleep, and making sure your family still recognizes you by making an occasional appearance at a function (dinner is TOTALLY a function), it’s hard to get more than a few spare moments to scratch out your thoughts on paper. It’s even harder to carve out any spare time if you’re in school or have little ones running around the house, or both.

However, writing a novel can take less time that you think. A few hours a day can get a rough draft in of your novel completed in less than four weeks. Yep, that’s right, FOUR WEEKS!

Ok, but who actually has a few hours a day? Possibly people with part time jobs, I imagine. Maybe people who are currently on summer break (teachers, you couldn’t pay me enough to do your job, but I get awful jealous about your summer!). Not people who have kids, I’m pretty sure. But, do you have an hour a day? Maybe that hour where you normal sack out in front of the television, or read before you go to bed? What if I told you that you could write for an hour a day and have a full novel in six weeks?

The nitty gritty:

1.       Have a goal

Young adult fiction (which is my favorite to read) averages 50,000-70,000 words. Adult fiction runs a little higher, middle grade, or kid’s novels, run a little less. What kind of book are you writing? That’ll make a difference.

According to author Dean Wesley Smith, “Most professional writers can average about one thousand words an hour, when going on a novel. Not in the struggle of the beginnings, but once the novel is underway. So, simple math says that to write a 90,000 word novel, you have about 90 hours of work.”

While I’m not a math whiz, that tells me you can write 50,000 word in 50 hours. At an hour a day, that’s 50 days. 50 days is LESS THAN 8 WEEKS!

2.       Have someone keep you accountable

You know that annoying friend that reminds you about your diet every time you reach for a cookie? You need them to help you with this. Have them call, heckle, encourage (or whatever they call it) as often as you need to make sure you’ve written your 1,000 words that day.

3.       Write like your life depends on it

I always wrote my most inspired papers for college under that 24 hour deadline. Adrenaline accesses something in the creative part of my brain, allowing words to flow like the otherwise don’t. Is that you? Schedule your hour right before your favorite television show, and don’t turn the TV on until you’re done.

Or, hey, are you extremely committed to writing this novel? Take some vacation days from work, mix up a few margaritas, and go to town! If you wrote 5,000 words a day, you could complete a 70,000 word manuscript in 14 days!

4.       Eliminate distractions

Shut off the wifi to your computer. I always wonder how much more I would accomplish in life without Facebook! So, cut off your access. In fact, I make a game of it: if you hit 1,000 words before your hour is up, you get 5 minutes of Facebook. If not, you write another 500 words.

The Meat and Potatoes

You can know all this, but it only makes a difference if you actually sit down and write. Don’t get discouraged, even if you think what you’ve written sucks. Ernest Hemmingway said, “All first drafts of anything are shit.” It can be refined, perfected, and edited later. Just get those words down on paper!

People like me can hardly wait to read what you write!

Any other tips for writers? What works best for you? Please share!

Excellent Writing Advice from Ernest Hemingway

 The writer of "A Farewell to Arms" and "The Old Man and the Sea," was a foul-mouthed, charmingly genuine man, with a love of the written word and grain alcohol. Never short on opinions, he contributed some of the best advice on writing I've ever had the pleasure of reading. Without further ado, ladies and gentlemen, the incorrigible Ernest Hemingway.

 

“The first draft of everything is shit.”

“The most essential gift for a good writer is a built-in, shockproof, shit detector. This is the writer's radar and all great writers have had it.”

“Write drunk, edit sober.”

“There is no rule on how to write. Sometimes it comes easily and perfectly; sometimes it’s like drilling rock and then blasting it out with charges.”

“Prose is architecture, not interior decoration.”

“In order to write about life first you must live it.”

“Eschew the monumental. Shun the Epic. All the guys who can paint great big pictures can paint great small ones.”

“The most solid advice for a writer is this, I think: Try to learn to breathe deeply, really to taste food when you eat, and when you sleep really to sleep. Try as much as possible to be wholly alive with all your might, and when you laugh, laugh like hell. And when you get angry, get good and angry. Try to be alive. You will be dead soon enough.”

“It’s none of their business that you have to learn to write. Let them think you were born that way.”

“I write one page of masterpiece to ninety-one pages of shit. I try to put the shit in the wastebasket.”

Time to Throw in the Towel? Self-Publishing Success Stories

I bet you've heard of every single one of the following people! And I bet you had no idea that they started as self-published authors. 

Warning: Results not typical. Contact your doctor in you experience double vision, as this may be a sign of a more serious condition. Side effects may include obsessive writing, giddiness, frustration, and words not fit for print. 

John Grisham wrote his first novel, "A Time To Kill" in 1989. He received 28 rejection letter before self-publishing a mere 5,000 copies through a small private publisher. He was eventually picked up by Doubleday. After writing three more books ("The Firm," "The Pelican Brief" and "The Client"), Grisham sold Doubleday the rights to "A Time To Kill," and reissued it. Now his books are available in every grocery store, bookstore, and airport in the United States. According to Wikipedia, he has sold more than 275 million books worldwide! Not too shabby!

The innocent childhood favorite, "The Tales of Peter Rabbit," was rejected several times by publisher. But Beatrix Potter knew she had a great idea and wouldn’t give up. She self-published Peter Rabbit’s stories in 1901. Only a year later, one of the publishers who had initially rejected the manuscript published it (want to bet they were humble and apologetic?). They also published 22 more of her stories. Over two million Beatrix Potter books are sold every year. BAM! Pretty fantastic for bunnies and frogs dressed in waistcoats!

E.L. James (Erika Leonard) has sold more than 70 million copies of her "Fifty Shades" trilogy worldwide. She started out writing Twilight fan fiction (literally just felt you shudder. It’s ok. I understand) stories and posting them on her website. When she wrote "Fifty Shades of Grey," she self-published it through a small Australian publishing company. It was released it on eBook and print-on demand. After the world discovered that a bunch of middle aged women enjoy BDSM erotica, the rights were acquired by Vintage Books.

William P. Young’s self-published Christian fiction book, “The Shack,” became a USA Time Bestseller, selling over a million copies. Before it was successful however, it was rejected by both secular and Christian publishing companies. In fact, Young and his friends created their own publishing company for the sole purpose of publishing that book. Marketing, for the first year, was simply word of mouth and a $300 website they paid someone to put together for them. In 2008, the book’s popularity exploded, and spent 70+ weeks on the New York Times Paperback Best Seller’s List.

There are more out there. And, with social media being what it is, there are more success stories coming! Hang in there, friends! You could be next!

Did any of this surprise you? What other self-publishing success stories are out there?

7 Ways to Fail at Self-Publishing

Just follow these 7 rules of thumb and you’re sure not to succeed in your self-publishing endeavor!

1.       Don’t follow basic “rules” of writing. Misspellings are fine; people will get the gist of what you’re saying (who remembers whether it’s effect or affect anyway?). Grammar is for the birds. Oh, and don’t worry about things like storylines, plots, character arcs, themes, and conflicts. If you build it, they will come after all. It’s not like you’re writing drivel, you’ve written a masterpiece!

2.       Do your own editing, formatting, cover design, and proofreading. No one knows this book like you! It’s your baby, born of your sweat, blood and tears. No one should ever get close to it with a red pen. Ever. Maybe Mom can read it before you’ve published it. She thinks you’re awesome.  And you can do your own cover design, even if the only program you can use with any competency is MS Paint.

3.       Market to other authors EXCLUSIVELY. Because people who are trying to market their book surely want to read yours. In fact, CRAM IT DOWN THEIR THROATS! They should see your book cover in their dreams! What a better way to go about it?

4.       Write (or buy) a bunch of rave reviews of your book. Great idea! Let’s pay/guilt/force Mom’s bridge club (c’mon Mom, you know you love your child!) to log into Amazon and write a bunch of phony rave reviews about your book. I can write a few, I’ll trade you a good review for your book if you give me a good review for mine. That can’t get you banned from Amazon for life… Right?

5.       Don’t talk to other authors: they’re your competition! Ack! Stay away from those guys (and gals)! They probably don’t have any experiences or wisdom they can pass on. They’re probably mean and snobby and unfriendly. In fact, they’re probably going to recommend you have someone else proofread your book and attack it with red pen. Better just avoid them altogether, except for when you force feed them another reminder to BUY YOUR BOOK!

6.       Expect through-the-roof sales immediately. Your baby is luxurious, heartrending, pure gold in written form. Everyone will see that, especially when Mom’s bridge club (HURRY UP, GUYS!) posts all those fantastic reviews for people on Amazon. Readers will be crawling all over themselves to read the beautiful things that spill forth from your innermost soul. You’ll probably be a millionaire in weeks, if sales run slower than you expect. Realistically, probably a millionaire in a few days.  

7.       Publish your first novel before you have a second one read to go. This is your pièce de résistance, your Mona Lisa. Nothing you will ever write can compare to the profoundness, the absolute purity of art in this first book. It’s not like you would ever offer it free so people will read more of what you’ve written, and people would be ridiculous to find an author they like and read all of their books when yours is obviously the pinnacle of writing.

Obviously, there are exceptions to every rule, but these seem to be pretty hard and fast. What would you add to this list?

Book Review: Delirium by Lauren Oliver

An exciting novel based in a dystopian society where love, or amor deliria nervosa, has been declared a dangerous, deadly disease. No worries though; there’s a Cure, forced on individuals by the government when a person turns eighteen.  Not only will you never fall victim to love once this cure is administered, you also will never find yourself the proprietor of hate, terror, delight, or wonder.

Lena Haloway is looking forward to being cured. Her mom got infected, and it destroyed her family. She is determined that the same thing will never happen to her. Counting down to the day of her Cure, Lena could not be more prepared to be an adult. Then, she meets Alex, and before she even realizes it, amor deliria nervosa sets in.

This book is a high energy, thrilling book that not only captures the feeling of a first love, but also the terror of being caught. The stakes are high, the action is fast and gripping, and the characters are wonderfully appealing. I enjoyed this book so much that I bought the next two and binge-read (is that a term?) for two days until I finished the whole trilogy! I couldn’t even sleep last night, because the plot was still running through my head.

Absolutely excellent! The whole storyline was completely enthralling, and I highly recommend the book. Heck, I highly recommend the whole series!

Falling into Place: When Things Start Coming Together

Sorry I’ve been absent for a while, friends… I was sent to a training conference in Seattle for work, and the hotel’s internet was flaky, at best. While I was there, I felt it would be an excellent time to come down with lung-rattling bronchitis. Today is the first day I am both a) at home and b) able to string words into sentences. But, I have an exciting announcement (besides not being dead):

My illustrations are done!

Color me surprised, but my original illustrator got back to me. I was convinced she had headed for the hills (over a week past her extension date without a word, even though I tried repeatedly to contact her) and BAM! Over a dozen preliminary drawings show up in my email.

I’m a deadlines person. Things are always completed on time—usually even early—and God forbid anything ever be late. Artists, it seems, may run on a slightly different time table than that. While I struggle to wrap my mind around that idea, I’ve made my peace with it.

But good news all you struggling children's book writers out there: its entirely possible to have your book illustrated on a budget! Onto the next step in this process... Typesetting! 

What do you think of the illustrations?

6 Reasons to Self-Publish: Take the Leap

You might just enjoy the ride!

 I’ve never done things the traditional route. I’m not sure if it’s a strength or a weakness of mine, but bucking tradition is practically my own tradition. There’s just something about making my own way, about doing things a little different than the rest that appeals to me. Because of this, self-publishing, even with all its challenges appeals to me far more than traditional publishing. Here are six reasons that I find self-publishing to be a better fit for me than traditional publishing:

1.       You own what you produce. In traditional publishing, often the publishing company owns the rights. If they decide they no longer wish to produce your book, you have to buy the rights back to change that. However, when you own what you produce, you can keep printing as many copies as you need for as long as you need.

2.       Control. Not only can you control designs and illustrations, you can control the content of your book, the sale price, and where it is marketed. The only thing holding you back is yourself (or possibly, what your mom might say). Typeface, title, and the cover will all be what you want, not what someone else wants. Your book reflects your vision, no one else’s.

3.       Timing. Not only do you get the advantage of working at your own pace, but once you make the move toward self-publishing, the time from submission to published work is far shorter than a traditional publishing company (sometimes as little as one week!).

4.       Profit potential. You have the potential to earn higher royalties. A traditional publisher gives you 5-20%, but because you can set the price yourself, your royalties are up to you. You have the potential of making far higher royalties (into the 70% range is not uncommon), and you’ll get paid faster. And, if your book does “make it big,” you might find yourself receiving calls from traditional publishers anyway.  

5.       Niche. Is your book fairly subject specific? This is more true for non-fiction, but it’s possible that publishers may not be interested in a book on tying dry flies for fishing the Gallatin River. However, if you live near the Gallatin River where fly tying and fly fishing is not only popular but has major economic influence; your tiny little market might be where you make it big.

6.       You are Your Own Boss. You can decide when to write more, what to write about, and what your deadlines are. There’s no one tell you when to jump and how high.

What reasons did I miss? Anything else that inspires you to self-publish rather than traditionally publish?